As I walked down the hallway to Lisa’s room, I felt gratitude to see her and to have a gift to offer. I also felt gratitude that hospitals feel familiar and for having skills and experience that allow me to serve.
Lisa and I have been friends for 30 years. She’s been living with cancer much of that time. Recently she was moved from home into a nearby hospital for hip replacements and is now between surgeries.
Before entering the room I paused, took a breath, said hello at the door before pulling back the curtain and with permission entered. I was introduced to Lisa’s sister then excused myself, washed my hands, and sat and shared in some childhood history.
When Angela [the nurse] entered I introduced myself, explained that I had come to offer Lisa a touch session, and asked if there was any information that she felt I needed to know. With a short conversation about my professional touch background, Angela felt easy about the offering and I felt well informed.
When Lisa’s sister left I pulled my stool up to the bedside. As I was about to begin, a visitor named Jeannie came in and offered to leave to give us privacy but we invited her to stay and be a conscious presence in the room.
As I proceeded to tenderly stroke Lisa’s leg she went into deep relaxation enabling her nervous system to release tension through tiny jerks and twitches. The mouth relaxed and the jaw opened and closed in subtle movements. Her whole body responded as if a tight cord were unraveling .
Every once in a while I would include Jeannie with eye contact and we would share facial animation. Jeannie was moved with the depth of relaxation she was witnessing.
Feeling Lisa’s upper body calling me, I moved to her shoulder and simply began to pet her oh so slowly . Just letting her chest and shoulder know they were safe; they were noticed. In it’s own right it was an embrace, an intimate expression of my affection without needing Lisa to respond.
Lisa drifted into a deep sleep. Her arms responded by raising slightly; a subtle dance of release.
Finished, I sat and breathed for 3 or 4 minutes to allow integration of the session before stating that I was going to wash my hands.
Perfect timing. The door opened and it was Angela to take vitals, then someone from the kitchen to remove the tray.
I said goodbye. Jeannie and I hugged and acknowledged our intimate experience in silence. As I left, she took her place at the bedside.
As I walked to the elevator I once again felt gratitude for the skills to be of service to my friends in such an intimate way. It seems that all the years of professional practice have been so I can simply participate in my life fully. Lisa is one of two 30-year friends now in advanced stages of illness.
Do you feel more equipped to be with your ill friends and family because of your chosen field? Are you using your skills professionally or as a skilled friend?
I’d really like to hear from you!
Blessings and Gratitude
Irene Smith
www.everflowing.org
Yes. I do feel more equipped but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I am always entirely equipped or am ready for every unanticipated or unexpected thing that may come my way.
I will say, though, having grown up with a family & culture of which touch was not a natural response or means of expression, learning & providing the art of touch has been an enormous gift. A gift to all who receive my touch & a gift to myself for having learned & developed the gift of compassionate & skilled touch for them to receive. It’s been a very rewarding skill to have, and has been very beneficial for the “ill friend” or “family” or client at a moments notice.
Thanks Irene for sharing your story & thoughts.
Love,
Janice
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Left by Janice on August 12th, 2010