Choosing to visit Celine after visiting hours seemed perfect; however I knew I should call and alert nursing staff. I explained to James, Celine’s nurse, that I was on my way to the hospital to give Celine a massage. James with extraordinary compassion in his voice told me Celine had just died. I took a breath. The silence encouraged me to ask if I could come anyway. James said, yes.Lavender scented lotion was Celine’s favorite, so I packed it in my bag and called a taxi.
Celine had been my neighbor for 25 years and allowing others in her private space was not Celine’s way. Being called for touch support in the final months of her life was quite an honor.
Eight weeks later Celine became bedridden and no longer capable of caring for herself. Being there when her power of attorney called and told her that I had to call 911 was one of the hardest moments I’ve ever experienced with a client.
As I packed Celines’s bag and assisted her in getting ready for the ambulance we both knew she would never see her home of 45 years again.
When the taxi arrived at the hospital, I went to the 4th floor. James appeared with extended arms. We hugged. “What a beautiful idea” he said.
There was a feeling of deep peace in Celine’s room as she lay like an African queen on a royal voyage. James removed the iv’s from her arms, the cooling blanket at her feet, and left us.
I looked around the room. There were several stones and some pieces of wood. Wood and rocks had always comforted Celine with the spirit of the forest. I spoke to Celine of the peace I felt in the room and of the beauty I witnessed in her open unfurled face. I told her I forgave myself for calling 911, and after sensing the peace around her in that moment; I knew she forgave me as well.
The scent of lavender filled the air as I slowly and gently anointed her body for the last time. Tears washed away my guilt and my heart received the honesty and fullness of our experience.
It seemed guided as I placed the pieces of driftwood on Celine’s heart, solar plexus, and belly and laid the perfect lightweight sand colored stone on her forehead.Soft tones began to come through my throat and a chant was revealed. “You are the texture of the wood. You are the voice of the rock people. You are the movement of the breeze blowing through your window. You are harmony converging.” I repeated this several times.
Two nurses entered. Each stayed for a while sharing tears and expressing gratitude for the ceremony.I requested that the stones and pieces of wood remain with Celine as she was transported from the 4th floor. James agreed.
As I waited for my taxi, I stood deeply humbled by the blessings in my life and by my chosen work.Putting this experience into words has been yet another blessing. Thank you. I look forward to your comments.
Irene Smith
www.everflowing.org
Dear Irene,
I am deeply touched to read of your final visit with Celine. I felt as if I were in the room with you - such is the power and beauty of your words. Love is never time bound, and how unconditionally loving it is that you spoke to her departing soul in that room and honored her life and Great Transition with such a beautiful ceremony! Your presence and compassionate witness is what I will always remember about working beside you. And I know that Celine’s soul was greatly comforted as you walked beside her with such grace in life, and then so gently waved farewell.
Peace and Blessings,
Jim
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Left by Jim Tate on March 25th, 2008
My work takes place in a long-term care facility. I am in the circle of over 200 deaths each year. A sadness I carry, is that each death cannot be recognized and honored as you did for your friend Celine.
The presence of family and friends at times such as these can be so
healing as it helps move folks into a healthy grief journey. It was heartening to know that some staff did experience the reverence you
brought to the occasion as they often experience bereavement over-load and have inadequate opportunities to integrate death into their living. Thank you for sharing this sacred story.
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Left by Timothy Nickel on April 3rd, 2008
Celine is as real now as the rock and drift wood you placed on her body. I am certain that she knew what you did for her and probably can’t wait to see you again and tell you herself how happy she was.
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Left by callista on April 20th, 2008
Dear Irene-
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this experience. I am in the beginning stages of searching for a massage therapy school as I feel I now know my true calling. I have always wanted to work in the Hospice realm. I have worked with people in the advanced and terminal stages of H.I.V./A.I.D.S. as a residential aide. Your experience is showing me the light to the path I must take.
I have predominately worked in the corporate world and am beginning to say goodbye to that world. Your experience has shown me that my goals and dreams can be achieved. I thank you for allowing a me a glimpse of what truly must be sacred work. I am energized and reknewed in my future pursuits.
Many blessings to you.
Daniel
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Left by Daniel Plourd on April 20th, 2008